So this past week, I was kind of having a bad day so I decided that I would go shopping to make myself feel better. I knew I needed to buy Jace some new pants and then also I wanted to buy some baby stuff.
So we started off by going to Old Navy. I don't know why, but my kids DO NOT like to ride in the cart at the store. My siblings and I tried to ride in the cart until we were like 10 years old it seems. Anyway, we got to Old Navy and the first 5 minutes was me trying and fighting to put Kamree and Jace in the cart. I got them in finally, but they were both screaming. I started to head to the back of the store and I felt like everyone was staring at me, so I gave in and took Kamree out of the cart. I made her promise that she would stay right with me and that she would be good if I let her stay out of the cart. Of course she promised and we all know that Kamree never keeps a promise. Anyway I thought of well! We started in the little boy section for some stuff for Jace. While I was looking at a few things, Kaylee and Kamree started to wander . They were still close to me, so I just let them look around. Kaylee then asked me what size Jace needed. I told her 2T. Kaylee then started getting every shirt and every pair of pants that was labeled 2T and piling it into the cart. So, what do you think Kamree started doing? Only she just started grabbing whatever was in front of her face - let me just tell you, she picked out some really cute things! So just as fast as they were putting stuff in, I was taking it out trying to find where it went. While doing this, I was telling them over and over to stop! As we all know they have selective hearing, so they kept doing what they were. Finally I told them that I was going to put them in the cart and that "the witch" would come if they did not stop it. For those of you who have not heard yet, Kamree keeps telling me about a witch (I think it is the evil queen from the movie "Enchanted" that she keeps referring to) that she is scared of. She thinks this witch lives in the garage, in the entrance to the attic up on the ceiling. So, it kind of sounds mean, but if you need Kamree to be good or listen, you just tell her that the witch will be mad and she usually will behave. It is nothing that completely terrifies her, it just helps sometimes when she is on one. Anyway, they finally stopped and just when they did that, I heard a loud smack and Jace start screaming. I looked over and he had climbed out of the back of the cart (while I was trying to put back every item of clothing from the whole store) and fell on the hard ground on his face! Oh my gosh!!!! What a scene! I ran the other way and pretended I didn't know whose kids they were. Just kidding. I ran over to Jace and picked him up. I looked for blood, missing teeth, and made sure his eyes were normal. His nose and forehead were bright red where he had hit. I kind of snuck back to the corner with the kids and our cart and held him there until he setteled down. Finally he was okay and I decided it was okay to make an appearance back into the middle of the store. I hurried and grabbed a few more things and we got the heck out of there. I'm sure people were just impressed with my mothering skills - first I'm yelling at my kids to not touch the clothes, then I tell them "the witch" was going to get them, and then when my kid about has a concussion, I hide him in the corner of the store so nobody can see what is going on. I see "Mother of the Year" in my future! Well, I don't know what I was thinking next, but I took the kids to Target because I wanted to still look for baby stuff. Once again, we had the fight with the cart. They always want those stupid huge carts with the place in front that they can sit in. I want to kill whoever invented those carts. They are so ugly and I cannot push them because they are soooooo awkward, but my kids always look for them - and if they ever find one, I always tell them they are broken (once again, nice mother). Anyway, we got back to the baby section and picked up a few things. The shoe section is close by and Kamree wandered over to pick out some shoes. Meanwhile, Kaylee started up again with putting EVERYTHING in the cart! So once again I am putting things back while she is not looking, because she gets mad if I don't like what she picks. Jace is in the cart trying to get out and screaming at me because he is mad, so I gave him a piece of gum out of my purse. That worked for a few minutes. Then I look over at Kamree who is sitting on the floor trying on some really "cute" Dora shoes. She then says "Mom, I've got to go potty." So I said , "Alright, put your shoes on and lets go." She threw the "cute" Dora shoes in the cart, sat down to put her shoes on, and gave me "the look". I immediately knew what this meant. So I said "Kamree! Did you just pee?" "No!" She said. I was mortified and then thought okay, maybe she didn't....its okay. Then I look over at Jace, still in the cart, who had gotten into my purse for some more gum and had about 6 pieces in his mouth - whatever, I thought. Then I look back at Kamree to see what the deal was. She stood up and what do you know..........there was a puddle on the floor and her pants were soaked and she had a huge grin on her face! Great! I didn't have time to drive home either because, I was meeting Jeff's mom to take the girls for a little while. So not only did I buy baby stuff, I had to buy Kamree some new underwear and new pants. So, if you ever need some excitement, frustration, exercise, or you just feel like you don't have enough embarrassment in your life, you can schedule an appointment to go to any public place with us at no charge. Or you can just watch from a distance for a good laugh - just call for a schedule of where we will be and when. You better do it fast though, because I am banning myself from going anywhere when the baby comes - I don't know if it will even be safe taking and picking up Kaylee from school! j/k
So we started off by going to Old Navy. I don't know why, but my kids DO NOT like to ride in the cart at the store. My siblings and I tried to ride in the cart until we were like 10 years old it seems. Anyway, we got to Old Navy and the first 5 minutes was me trying and fighting to put Kamree and Jace in the cart. I got them in finally, but they were both screaming. I started to head to the back of the store and I felt like everyone was staring at me, so I gave in and took Kamree out of the cart. I made her promise that she would stay right with me and that she would be good if I let her stay out of the cart. Of course she promised and we all know that Kamree never keeps a promise. Anyway I thought of well! We started in the little boy section for some stuff for Jace. While I was looking at a few things, Kaylee and Kamree started to wander . They were still close to me, so I just let them look around. Kaylee then asked me what size Jace needed. I told her 2T. Kaylee then started getting every shirt and every pair of pants that was labeled 2T and piling it into the cart. So, what do you think Kamree started doing? Only she just started grabbing whatever was in front of her face - let me just tell you, she picked out some really cute things! So just as fast as they were putting stuff in, I was taking it out trying to find where it went. While doing this, I was telling them over and over to stop! As we all know they have selective hearing, so they kept doing what they were. Finally I told them that I was going to put them in the cart and that "the witch" would come if they did not stop it. For those of you who have not heard yet, Kamree keeps telling me about a witch (I think it is the evil queen from the movie "Enchanted" that she keeps referring to) that she is scared of. She thinks this witch lives in the garage, in the entrance to the attic up on the ceiling. So, it kind of sounds mean, but if you need Kamree to be good or listen, you just tell her that the witch will be mad and she usually will behave. It is nothing that completely terrifies her, it just helps sometimes when she is on one. Anyway, they finally stopped and just when they did that, I heard a loud smack and Jace start screaming. I looked over and he had climbed out of the back of the cart (while I was trying to put back every item of clothing from the whole store) and fell on the hard ground on his face! Oh my gosh!!!! What a scene! I ran the other way and pretended I didn't know whose kids they were. Just kidding. I ran over to Jace and picked him up. I looked for blood, missing teeth, and made sure his eyes were normal. His nose and forehead were bright red where he had hit. I kind of snuck back to the corner with the kids and our cart and held him there until he setteled down. Finally he was okay and I decided it was okay to make an appearance back into the middle of the store. I hurried and grabbed a few more things and we got the heck out of there. I'm sure people were just impressed with my mothering skills - first I'm yelling at my kids to not touch the clothes, then I tell them "the witch" was going to get them, and then when my kid about has a concussion, I hide him in the corner of the store so nobody can see what is going on. I see "Mother of the Year" in my future! Well, I don't know what I was thinking next, but I took the kids to Target because I wanted to still look for baby stuff. Once again, we had the fight with the cart. They always want those stupid huge carts with the place in front that they can sit in. I want to kill whoever invented those carts. They are so ugly and I cannot push them because they are soooooo awkward, but my kids always look for them - and if they ever find one, I always tell them they are broken (once again, nice mother). Anyway, we got back to the baby section and picked up a few things. The shoe section is close by and Kamree wandered over to pick out some shoes. Meanwhile, Kaylee started up again with putting EVERYTHING in the cart! So once again I am putting things back while she is not looking, because she gets mad if I don't like what she picks. Jace is in the cart trying to get out and screaming at me because he is mad, so I gave him a piece of gum out of my purse. That worked for a few minutes. Then I look over at Kamree who is sitting on the floor trying on some really "cute" Dora shoes. She then says "Mom, I've got to go potty." So I said , "Alright, put your shoes on and lets go." She threw the "cute" Dora shoes in the cart, sat down to put her shoes on, and gave me "the look". I immediately knew what this meant. So I said "Kamree! Did you just pee?" "No!" She said. I was mortified and then thought okay, maybe she didn't....its okay. Then I look over at Jace, still in the cart, who had gotten into my purse for some more gum and had about 6 pieces in his mouth - whatever, I thought. Then I look back at Kamree to see what the deal was. She stood up and what do you know..........there was a puddle on the floor and her pants were soaked and she had a huge grin on her face! Great! I didn't have time to drive home either because, I was meeting Jeff's mom to take the girls for a little while. So not only did I buy baby stuff, I had to buy Kamree some new underwear and new pants. So, if you ever need some excitement, frustration, exercise, or you just feel like you don't have enough embarrassment in your life, you can schedule an appointment to go to any public place with us at no charge. Or you can just watch from a distance for a good laugh - just call for a schedule of where we will be and when. You better do it fast though, because I am banning myself from going anywhere when the baby comes - I don't know if it will even be safe taking and picking up Kaylee from school! j/k
8 comments:
oh, Krasanda, that is so funny. You totally just described the exact scenario of me going to the store with my kids (carts and all) I always get so embarrassed and feel like everyone is staring at me. I wished we lived a little closer so we could hang out. (not that we live that far.) we really should hang out. are you still working?
I am soooooooo glad I wasn't with you!! Sorry...
It is quite hilarious though now. I don't know how you do it!! You may not feel like it, but you are a great mom!! those kids are lucky to have you!
Kamree deserves more credit than she gets sometimes. She knew exactly what it was going to take to get some new underwear. I should try that next time I'm at Banana Republic and need some new pants.
Krisanda-
you are not the only one who lies about the big akward carts being broken. And I think you've got some competition for the mother of the year award! We need to get together and relax. Then you can see that maybe your kids are better than others. Hee Hee.
Through the laughter as I read this blog post, I was also getting stressed out just thinking about what you went through and was so glad I wasn't there! I like the "witch is gonna be mad" threat and think I'll use it with my dogs and see if it works.
Krisanda- you are brave!!!! I wont even take my TWO kids to the store. You poor thing! Next time you need to get out- give me a call and you can leave them with me for a bit. You are so funny! And I would vote for you for mother of the year- you almost have four kids and you havent gone crazy yet.
Hello hello! How are you guys? I laughed so hard at your story I almost peed my pants. I think you should write a book about all the crazy things your kids do and say. Then i bet it will become as big as the twilight series and you'll be rich. Ha ha! We need to get together soon!
Shopping with children is not fun! They hate it and I hate it so we just don't do it. One thing that works at Target is popcorn. My boys will sit and eat while I look around so I have to keep checking their bags and when it's gone, we're gone!
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